grounded by myself

well
duwan touch hp or either msn for now
if anything really important leave a message if i wan reply mayb will reply
just temporary no mood for any chatting
think for some time
recently
i'm totally not me anymore
i dunnno what's happening around now
i hate this condition
it's scary!!
some fear or dunno what kind of feeling keep spinning around me
something keep haunting me izit???
lolx
i felt so stupid
all this time i thought i'm changed
i thought i'm a person which i keep pushing myself to be
but now i realize
the things that changed not me perhaps is people or things around me
i realized
i no more can be the small little kids
nobody will bother it anymore
i've grow up
everything by myself d
everyone has their own life own problem own thinking own opinion own etc.....
gossshh
i really hate myself for now
i'm so EMO now!!
last time kisiao also never become serious like this i think haixx
after control for so long
dunno since when my life turned upside down..many things messed up
without being aware perhaps
now i realize i cant do this anymore
i cant allow myself become like this
i cant be selfish anymore
i cant simply throw my temper anymore
i cant always hope thing goes the way i wanted it to be..glad that they didn't affected la lolx
i tried before to find someone to talk to when i'm not happy or what like sis or friend
but....everytime not successful
sis now totally no time for me d la
friend..sometime got tell them but also most of the things din say out..but also thanks to them sometime really wan explode d after talk to them feel much more better
i just can say i really use to keep everything in myself d
it's hard to change
hmmm


ANYWAY
now i'm going to turn it the other way round to get everything back on track again
so i decided to pull myself back to normal again
so in this few days mayb 1 or 2
no sms no chatting
no thought of anything if can
totally not feeling like going to class but need to go
haixxx
wan push myself to focus on study soon
i know after a while i will be back to normal
lolx


dun ask me anything bout what happen coz i also dunno
just feel bad without reason really
shopping can make me feel better but i need to control cant shopping again
EAT can make me feel better also but so hard only start cutting down meals or quantity of foods leh..
hmmm but mayb after eat lots lots for 2 3 days then only start cut again la
lolx


k la
no reason..or mayb it's the girl thing coming soon so...???
dunno see first la...
just hope the bad feeling go away soon
enjoy life



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